To Hell and Back

I love to read about as much as I love music. So it's only natural for me to love books about music and musicians. I've read lots of biographies and autobiographies, but none has stayed with me like The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx.

I wouldn't call myself a crazy Motley Crue fan, but I was definitely into them back in the day. I thought Tommy Lee was the hottie in the band and Nikki was the wacked out druggie. Intelligent, yes, but volatile and messed up. I remember when he overdosed and "died" before being brought back by a shot of adrenalin to the heart. My best friend Eye even used Nikki's overdose in a script for a video she made in our a/v class. I played the person who discussed how even though Nikki Sixx, my idol, used heroin, it wouldn't make me do it. My performance, of course, was Oscar worthy.

Nowadays, Tommy Lee is so sleazy that I feel like I need to scrape him off the bottom of my shoe, and Nikki, clean and sober, is still intelligent, but also compelling and let's face it, plain hot. I was really looking forward to reading his book.

The Heroin Diaries is a collection of diary entries between Christmas 1986 and 1987. The book chronicles the recording of the Girls Girls Girls album and subsequent tour, as well as his relationships with the rest of the band, friends, his then girlfriend Vanity and his family. It also features photos, lyrics and artwork.

The first thought that comes to mind only a few pages into it is how is this man still alive? On almost every page he is ingesting some sort of illegal substance and/or alcohol. He struggles on each page with the knowledge that he is slowly killing himself, but is in so much emotional pain that being high is the only way he can get through the day. There were times when I had to put the book down and walk away because it was too painful to read on. I really have to give Nikki credit for putting this out for the whole world to read. It is unflinching, gripping, and palpably painful.

The Heroin Diaries debuted at #7 on the best seller list, with a portion of the proceeds going to the charitable organization Running Wild in the Night. With the band Sixx A.M., Nikki also released an accompanying soundtrack with the stand out track "Life Is Beautiful."

Music may be Nikki's first love, and his art, and his chosen way to express himself, but let's face it, Motley Crue will never be Grammys' darling. Nikki is now turning towards writing and photography as other means of making his mark on the world, and I'm really interested in what he'll come up with next. It would have been a shame if this man had succumbed to his demons.